It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

So I am feeling a little bummed tonight. I should be very excited as my partner in crime will FINALLY be coming home 1 week tomorrow!!! The only problem is that I need to somehow make it through this week. There's something about that last little bit that seems to just drag and time goes by so slowly. But the reason I'm bummed is because it's my birthday tomorrow. Now I am very lucky to have as much family around as I do, but I'm still feeling a little down about the fact that my favorite person won't be here to share in the day :( This isn't the first birthday he's missed, but that's not the point. And I shouldn't complain because I know other's whose husbands are never home on their birthdays, but that doesn't mean it's any easier. His not being here too has also made it hard to get into the holiday spirit too. I'm so excited about Christmas and I have just about everything done, but no decorating yet. That's the part I'm having trouble with. It just doesn't feel like Christmas without him here...
Ah, I should just stop my whining...only 1 more week to go. Hurray for husbands coming home :)

Happy December :)

Hello December, did you know that I love you?? I think I love December even more for the fact that it marks the end of November, a month that I positively hate!!! I don't even know what it is about November that makes it so wretched, but I hate it!! And to make it even worse this year, my husband was gone for the entire month, plus some (he left Oct 27th and won't be back until Dec 23ish). So that definitely did not help November any. I am much happier now that December is here :)
I am also very happy to be home!!! This past weekend I travelled to the big city of Vancouver for a little shopping and a Dr's appointment for my mother. It was a wonderful trip but I am so happy that it's over and that we're back home and trying to get back into our routine. I did however have a fabulous time at Ikea (I don't know many people who DON'T love that store) and I could have spent far more money there had we had more room in the car. It's a good thing that the little guy has his own seat or otherwise he might have had to come home on the roof of the car. Many a fabulous treasures were found there, that's for sure!!!
Anyways, just wanted to say Happy December :)

Rant of the day...

I usually call my rants 'Monday night rant' or in this case 'Saturday night rant' but I think I may just go with rant of the day. I don't rant everyday, but I also don't blog everyday either...

Anyways, there is a particular toy I am after for my little guy for Christmas. It is the Fisher-Price Little People's Wheelies Stand'N Play Rampway...such a mouthful but it's cool. I have seen ads on TV for it and when I got the holiday flyer in the mail from Superstore there it was and for a pretty decent deal too. I was so excited to get this for him. So the next time I went to town I looked for it. There in the toy isle on the shelf was the tag, with the price in yellow to show that it was on sale ($37), but to my disappointment the spot was empty. I asked an guy who worked there if they had anymore in the back and he was pretty sure it hadn't come in yet but that stock day was Saturday. So I thought, no problem I'll come back another time. Well I went back later and the spot was still empty. This was probably a week or so later. By this point I was getting a little frustrated to say the least. Where was the toy?? There was a spot all ready for it, why wasn't it there?? Why would they even bother to make the spot and put on the sale price if they weren't even going to have the item in stock?? I figured since they had the spot and the yellow tag all ready to go, that meant they'd be getting it in...wouldn't you think the same thing??? Anyways, I was back over in town today and thought I would check to see if it was there and guess what I found??? Not only was the shelf still empty but the sale was now over too, which means when and if they ever do get this toy in stock, I'll have to pay full price for it!!!! What's the point in advertising something and even making room for it and marking it in yellow if you're not evening going to have said item while it's on sale?? Doesn't that seem a little ridiculous?? Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off...
I wonder if this toy even really exists...

The time is near...

So I need some help. I've got an appointment to get my hair done next week and I'm kind of at a loss as to what I should do. It's been a long time since I've done anything with it. And let me tell you, it is time for a change!!! I was thinking of getting it trimmed up/cut or maybe even an entirely new style altogether and some color. Now I don't know if I want to dye every hair on my head, but I definitely want some color in there other than just brown. Darker, lighter, maybe some of both, I'm not sure. All I know is that I need a perk me up.
Any ideas or suggestions would be great, I would love to hear them!!!

P.S. I found this picture on we heart it...there are some fabulous pictures of hair there, but I would love to hear what other people think and not just what I think :)

Thoughts part 2

OK. I've received some feedback from my last post 'Thoughts' and I really appreciate it. But I don't think I expressed myself clearly though, or maybe I did. I'm not entirely sure. I'm in major need of something new in my life, some kind of change. Could be as simple as a haircut or as drastic as moving to a new city. All I know is that something needs to change. And maybe that skewed my thinking in the last post in a direction I didn't mean for it to go.
But what I wanted to clarify is that despite my pondering on how things could have been (you can't help but wonder and think about the 'what ifs'), I wouldn't change anything. I love the things I have done. I loved University. I even miss it sometimes. I guess I was just thinking that I didn't need to go to school and get a degree to be happy with my life (especially because it's useless and I'm not using it. Not much one can do with an English Major besides teach or write...). I just think that life doesn't have to be so complicated and that most of the time, simple is best. I feel like I've made things in my life more complicated than they needed to be. And I was just thinking that simple might have been a nice route to take. I don't regret my education though and it's not my student loans that are the problems. Choices that seemed good and right at the time were made and in hindsight, weren't so great. That's life. It happens. I just need to make smarter choices in the future ;)
And as for the car and house and trip thing, I totally realize that lots of people may look put together on the outside and are struggling just as much or even more than I am. Debt comes in all kinds of forms and so does the stress that goes along with it. I think that thought about wishing we were able to have a newer car or a house or go on trips came from the fact that I need a change. The new to me car that I just got SUCKS ASS and I feel so ripped off by it and I'm bitter about it, really really bitter. And as for the house, I love our little house. The only problem is that it's too little and we've outgrown it. And doesn't everyone need to get away once in a while???
Anyways, I don't regret my choices and I wouldn't change anything, but I was just thinking about some of the 'what ifs' and how things might have been.

Thoughts

I was on the ferry headed over to town the other day and I got to thinking about life. I do love my life and all of the things that I have done, I believe, have lead me to where I am. But I couldn't help but think if we hadn't moved away or if I hadn't have gotten the university degree and had instead just worked or perhaps taken something different - if I had of done any or all of these things differently or just not at all, would I still be here?? I like to think 'no' but that's probably just because it consoles me a little bit and makes me feel better about some of my stupid choices along the way. (I would hate to think that by changing just the smallest thing that it may change the end, like we wouldn't still be together or may not have our son or something like that). But I think what I'm really bothered by is the amount of debt that I (we) have. Student loans, lines of credit, credit cards. It feels endless and some days I truly feel like I am drowning in it. So I was thinking how nice it would have been to just have gotten a job and worked and saved and done things the normal way - buy or lease a car, buy a house, have kids etc. I mean, I didn't need to go to school to get a job. True, the job I do have is one that you need more than just high school for but what if I'd just worked or done something else??? I'm not really complaining about anything other than the debt. I loved moving away. I loved living and working there and then coming back to the island and starting the next chapter of our life here. I just wish we could have avoided some of the excess bullshit here and there. I guess I just find it hard when I look around and I see the 'togetherness' of other people's lives and I can't help but wish that for me and my family. Wouldn't it be nice to have a newer vehicle that I didn't need to worry about, or perhaps our own home, maybe even the ability to go on a trip or vacation *sigh*. One day...
But for now I will just be grateful for what I do have - an amazing husband, an awesome little gaffer, 4 fabulous cats, and wonderful friends and family. What's a little debt when you have all of that other good stuff, right???

Happy Halloween!!!

Well Halloween has come again and it was a great day!!! I was so excited for this year because last year the little gaffer was only two months old and couldn't really enjoy the 'festivities' to the fullest. However, this year was a little different. We found him the most adorable giraffe costume (I've had a thing for giraffes since he was in the womb and I figured this would probably be one of the only years I could get him to wear a costume like this) and boy did he ever look cute!!!! Unfortunately my husband went back to work this past week so he missed out on the fun from today, but we still had a great time going to visit friends and relatives and then going to the fireworks at the community center. The little guy just LOVED them!! I'm really looking forward to next year... :)
Anyways, hope you had a great Halloween too!!!

My little giraffe and his little duck buddy

Happy little guy


Watching the fireworks with Grandma

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!

Thanks a bunch, jerk!!!

It was a typical fall day here on the island but without the rain, so I thought it would be a great idea to take the boy to the Spit and get some fresh air. So we're out there, having fun and running around and playing on the beach and it's wonderful. There is this one side that has a little hill, so the gaffer was walking up it and falling backwards and it was awesome. He was having a great time!! As I was watching him though, I noticed something on the back of his pants. It wasn't a huge area, but there was what looked like dog shit on the back of his leg. No biggie, shit happens. So I grabbed him to try and get some of it off and as I was just about to release him I had this sinking feeling of 'oh no'. Well my feeling was correct and I took a look at his hand and sure enough, he had a nice fist full of dog shit. So gross!!!! I got as much off as I could and then we headed for wipes from the car. I should have gotten the picture before I wiped the shit off because there isn't that much left on his poor little hand and it's too bad that the picture is blurry, but I think you get the idea.

So I just want to say a big thank you to the assholes for not picking up after their dog. Then again, shit does happen but I just wish that it didn't have to be smeared in between my son's fingers!!!!

Love nose

I have always had a thing for smelling things. Seems like I always have my nose in something - flowers, coffee, checking to see whether meat is good or bad, seeing if my son needs his diaper changed, etc. One of my favorite smells is freshly cut grass *sigh*. There is something so familiar about it, comforting and exhilarating at the same time. I absolutely LOVE that smell. I always have and always will. I guess it's a good thing that I like it so much because my husband runs his own landscaping business. He's actually been away working on Ontario and came home on Friday after being away for 4 weeks, but was back to his landscaping this week to tie up loose ends and finish off the 'season'. It kind of sucks that he's home on days off from Ontario but still has to work, but that's life I suppose. It's been so nice to have him home again and I am going to enjoy every moment he's here. But yesterday he was working, doing hedges and mowing lawns, and when he came home and he smelled just like freshly cut grass - familiar, comforting, and still exhilarating.

Land Legs

Fall. The crisp air, the beautiful colors of the leaves, playing in the leaves once they fall. Perfect for playing outside, especially if you're 13.5 months old and are perfecting your 'land legs'. This little guy loves to play in the garden and run around. Every time we come home he immediately runs over to the gate so that he can go inside the yard to play. On this particular day he had so much fun kicking his way through the leaves on the ground.

He thought that the rake was pretty cool.

There's nothing more enjoyable than watching him explore and discover and take in the world. It is so amazing.



I love this little guy!!!!

Sunday Rant - MIL

I have actually been meaning to write about my MIL for quite some time now. More often than I would like, she does something to piss me off and it is frustrating. Usually it is just small stupid things, but it's the accumulative effect of all these small things that drives me crazy.
For example, she was over yesterday visiting at my Mom's house and my son was running around the house. The nightlight caught his eye and he wanted to check it out. I however didn't really want him playing with it because it doesn't sit properly in the outlet so I told him to leave it alone and come play with something else. Of course he doesn't listen to me so I keep trying to coax him to leave it alone. Now my MIL is standing right by him and is just watching him do this. You'd think that she would step in and take him away from it, especially since the reason I didn't want him near it was because it was a hazard but nope, she just kept on standing there and then proceeded to comment on how good he was the other day not touching things. Um hello, who cares about the other day, he's wanting to play with something that is NOT safe for fuck sakes, could you do something other than just stand there and stare??? I know I'm the Mom but she's the Grandma and was literally standing a foot and half away from him. So I stormed over, ripped the nightlight out of the wall and put one of those outlet plug things in so that he would leave it alone. Maybe not the best example, but she's a passive-aggressive control freak who thinks she knows best and has the answer to everything and when she asks questions about things it's a judgment or a criticism. Like I said, it's all the little things.
At least I know I'm not the only one who has trouble with their MIL...how do you get along with yours???

Not impressed!!!!

I've been waiting for what seems like ages to get my 'new-to-me' car. FINALLY, yesterday I am able to bring it home!!! It is so nice to have a vehicle again. Or was nice.
I was doing a few errands today -checking the mail, buying some light bulbs from the building supply, and dropping some laundry off at my Mom's - and when I was leaving the credit union to go home, the car made a funny noise when I started it and after I had backed up, I noticed a nice puddle of lime-yellow liquid on the ground. I'm pretty sure that it was coolant and that the coolant had come from my new-to-me car that had just come from the mechanic's the night before. But I didn't notice any other leaking for the rest of the day, so I thought I was OK. Not quite so. I ended up going out later on and when I was coming home discovered that the car was starting to get a little hot and kept on getting hotter and hotter. Well, turns out that whatever they had fixed has now broken or was never fixed properly in the first place or something else has screwed up because there was hardly any coolant left in the little container and she was leaking and there was smelly hot steam and basically, it is NOT good and I am SO NOT IMPRESSED!!!!!
What a fucking piss off!!!!

Bullet Biting

I'm biting the bullet and going back to work. I don't want to and would love nothing more than to stay at home with the most amazing little turkey in the world, but the time has come and so I must go back. I had a little bit of a melt down earlier because it felt like it was all happening too fast and by too fast I mean that I called this morning thinking it would be at least a day or two until I heard from anyone and then an hour later I was marking 2 shifts down on the calendar, one of which being only 4 days away!!!! God, what the hell did I do? was all I could think about as I cried and told my son over and over again how much I loved him. It felt like the end of the world and in some ways come D-day, it will be. But it will also be nice to get out of the house and do something that is for me. To be honest though, I don't really think of work as being my first choice of things I would do for myself. I think a movie or going to the spa or out for drinks with friends would be a lot more fun, but at least this will be something that I do sans child that gets me out of the house and off the island and out into the real world.
One great thing is that my first two shifts are orientation shifts, so I don't need to work myself too hard and can let myself ease back into things gradually. AND if there ever comes a day when work calls me to come work and I can't, I have the best excuse to get out of it - sorry, I don't have a sitter :)

Wind Storm Numero Uno

I have been talking about Fall a lot lately and it is definitely official, Fall is here. We had our first wind storm of the season here yesterday and through the night and into today. It wasn't unlike any other wind storm that we've had, although there's something a little unsettling when you're alone and the house is making all sorts of freaky noises due to the wind. So I found myself awake for awhile in the middle of the night - I swear I thought the house was going to cave into itself due to the shear force of the gusts - and I got up to check on the baby before going back to sleep. Just as I was going into his room, the power went out and then came back on with a loud BANG BANG and from the kitchen I could see an orange glowing coming from outside my living room window. To the window I went and outside on the power line along the road was a beautifully frightening little fire. I was already on edge due to the wind and to see a fire that close to my house (to be honest it wasn't really that close, but too close for comfort) was just too much. Ya, it wasn't really all that fun.
I just hope that all of the wind storms this season aren't this eventful. A power-outage is one thing, but fireworks are a completely different story. I don't want to see the orange glow of a fire from my window anytime soon, that's for sure.

Love

I am missing my husband tonight.

He left a week ago to go to work in Ontario and should be gone for another 3 weeks. I manage fairly well when he's gone, but I find the evenings the hardest. That's usually our time together, after the baby has gone to bed, and I just feel so alone with him not here.

I'm sure that the next few weeks will just fly by and he'll be home before I know it, but right now I miss him like crazy.

Can't wait to see you - I miss you.

xoxo

Lost and Found

Well it's official - I have lost my motivation. I've noticed that it has been MIA for a little while now, but I was waiting patiently hoping that it would miraculously return on its own. Guess what?? It hasn't and I'm struggling with that fact that I can't seem to find it.

A few years ago I lost some weight - 40 lbs and I felt great and looked better than I had in years. It was actually quite easy. Part of this was due to the fact that I had everything at my fingertips - a pool and gym near by, a fantastic weight watchers leader/meeting, and some amazing friends to bounce ideas off of and to work out with. I had all the time in the world to work on me. Then I went back to school and slowly the weight began to creep back on again. It was so frustrating.


Now I just can't seem to find the time for me. I know if I really wanted to bad enough (which I do) I could make the time. But without my friend motivation to help me out, I am feeling stuck. Paralyzed even. And it is so hard. I hate the way I look and the way I feel and I feel like my weight stands in my way in so many areas. I was actually talking to a friend on the phone and her and her son were heading out to go to the gym and I felt so jealous of the fact that I wasn't about to head out the door to go to the gym. I wish I had the ability to do that. Yes, there is a gym on the island, and yes I could go and find someone to watch my son or maybe there's even child minding there and I could take him with me. But that just seems like so much effort and financially, just isn't in the cards right now. Maybe the reason I can't find my motivation is because my laziness has taken it hostage. All I know is that I need to get my butt in gear and do something.

But, come to think of it, there is a beautiful little boy sleeping in the other room...and I think he might just be all the motivation I need :)

Apples and Muffins

I was looking at my kitchen counter and did you know that apples and muffins remind me of fall??? There's something so warm and cozy about muffins. It's like they were made for fall days to have with tea or to have in your lunch once you go back to school. And apples. Apples just scream fall and it's pretty much fall once they are ready to pick. These ones were actually picked this morning from my mom's tree and I used to grab one on my way to school when I was younger. *Sigh*. I've already mentioned this, but I just love fall.

Craziness

It feels like I've finally had a moment to catch my breath. The past few days have been a whirlwind of craziness and I am so thankful for this quiet, rainy morning and delicious hot cup of tea (the tea isn't quite ready yet, but when it is, it will be amazing!!!!).
We got the call we'd been waiting for regarding work for my husband, although it came in the usual undesired rushed fashion. So on Wednesday he was asked to come back to work, but he had to leave Thursday to be in Ontario for an orientation on Friday. Craziness. And to top it all off, my Mom's cat was dying and needed to be put down so we had that to help deal with as well. But we managed to get over to town and get the important things that were needed, came home and gave the cat a burial under the blossoming cherry tree, and then came home and packed like crazy because we had to go back over to town that night to be at the airport at the right time the next morning. That's definitely one down side to living on an island and needing to be on a plane at 7am. It all worked out in the end and he arrived safely. But I've just been so busy picking up the pieces since he left.
Our yard is a disaster - correction, WAS a disaster. And after taking him to the airport, I was a little blindsided when I got home and had to ran around like a crazy woman to tidy up and organize the yard and put the house back together after ram sacking it to gather his things together. Then there's the harvesting from the garden which is time sensitive and needs to be done and while none of this is 'major', it just feels like a lot in such a short period of time.
But I'm off to enjoy that nice cup of tea and savor the last few moments before my son gets up.

CC 2010

We finally made it out camping this year!!!! Yay!!! It's about freakin' time!!

Usually my hubby and I go camping for our anniversary at the end of June before school lets out, but didn't' manage to make it this year. So all summer we've been waiting around, hoping and wanting to go, and we even bought a brand new tent for camping with the baby and I was really worried that we weren't going to get a chance to use it this year.

Well hallelujah, we did.

It was off to Cortes we went on Wednesday and stayed for 2 nights. The weather was fairly decent, although the campsite was right in the middle of trees so it never seemed to warm up. But it was a great time and the baby loved it and had so much fun!!! He had sand from head to toe and in every crack and hiding spot on his body. Poor little guy had the worst bum rash from all the sand he got in there while running about naked at the lake. But despite that, he had a great time and was happy and slept great. Can't ask for more, right???

Can't wait for our next camping excursion!!!

Rainy Day

Well it's official, fall is here!!! Or at least it sure feels like fall, especially with the rain we've gotten overnight and today. I'm not complaining though, I love fall. I love days like today when it's raining and a little blustery outside and I'm warm and cozy inside. I would describe days like today as a 'soup day' and that's exactly what I've decided to make today, a nice big pot of chili!! But I find days like today rather peaceful actually. The baby is down for a nap, my husband is out doing some errands and I have the house to myself to just breathe, relax, and re-boot. I think the only thing missing is a nice cup of tea.

Cat Lady

Growing up, there was a cat lady who lived on our little island. She would drive around in her car with at least 10 cats in there with her!!! And when she wasn't in the car and you would run into her in the store or something she ALWAYS smelt like cat piss, and is was SO GROSS!!!! So I have always considered a 'cat lady' to be some kooky loon that runs around the place with a herd of cats and generally she is old or at least on the older side and alone. I think this is the most important factor in what makes a cat lady - the fact that she is alone. Some may consider me to be a 'cat lady', I however think of myself as part of a cat loving family. This is not because I run around like a mad woman with cats in my car, nor do I stink (at least I hope I don't), but because I have a lot of cats.

Before Kuna died, I had wanted one of my friends kittens because I knew how much Kuna would have loved to have another younger playmate. Our other 2 cats were slightly older than he was, and while the one was usually up for playing, this wasn't always the case. So I thought a new friend for him would be just the thing. But then he got sick and we had to put him down. I don't think I was really ready for a new cat, but I still had my hopes set on getting this kitten. I teased and joked about getting 2 based on the idea that kittens do better in two's, especially when having 2 older cats like we do. Then that way the new kittens would always have someone to play with. So when the kittens got here, I was so excited to see 'my kitten' (who has always been my kitten from the very beginning) and play with all the other kittens while they were here (my friend brought all of them with her and they stayed at my place while she was on the island visiting). Well wouldn't you know it, the one that I wasn't planning on keeping picked us and Bosley also picked her out as well (I think he thought she was Kuna at first) and both my husband and I were still smitten with the other one, so we HAD to keep both of them.

Anyways, we now have 2 new kittens - Olive and Whiskey. And if having 4 cats makes me a cat lady, then I guess that's what I am.

Olive (top) and Whiskey

But just a thought for you...why is it such a negative thing to have numerous cats, but yet it's ok to have multiple dogs?? You don't hear people going around whispering and gossiping about the 'dog lady' :S

First Birthday Fun

Hurray!!!! My son is now 1!!!!! I don't even know where the time went, but on Sunday, we celebrated his first birthday and it was a fabulous day :) It was one of those kind of cloudy but warm days, perfect for a party out at the spit. We had some good food, some good visits with family and friends, and some rather yummy birthday cake!!!! And to top it all off, the little gaffer made out like a bandit (which is a huge help to me)!! So all in all it was a great day!!! Hard to believe it's all over already. Funny how that happens. You put all this time and effort into planning and organizing something, like a party or wedding, and then you blink and it's over!!! And I've found that these built up events fly by even faster as I've gotten older. Oh well, it was a lot of fun and I think he had a great time and he absolutely loved being sung to over and over.

So Happy 1st Birthday to my little gaffer :)

Good friends are hard to find!!!!

Good friends are hard to find ;)

Oh August, I am so happy that you are here!!!! I have been waiting for it to get here and now that we're well into the month, all the adventures are about to begin. And I am getting really excited!!!! In just a few days, 2 very good friends will be coming to visit and I can't wait!!!! Friend J will be staying at the beach and coming to the island for a visit on Monday and Friend M will be here late late on Monday night!!! It will be so nice to see them both!! I saw J not too long ago for her sons first birthday, but it will be great to see her on my end of things and to get the boys together to play!!! It has been over a year since I have seen my M and I am so looking forward to seeing her. And it will be so wonderful for her to finally meet my son!! Can you believe it, she has never met him?? She technically got to meet him when he was still in the womb, but hasn't had the luxury of seeing him in person. So that will be so nice. I am looking forward to the good food, good drinks, good laughs, and all the good times that we're going to have while she is here!!!! It is going to be awesome!!!

I am so grateful for such good friends.

One of my favorite pictures of M and I (a blast from the past)

J and I pregnant with our boys

My last get together with J

The last time M and I saw each other just over a year ago, so if you ask me a visit is definitely in order!!!!!!

Blah blah blah

It is 3 weeks until my baby's first birthday. I don't know how this happened so quickly, but all of a sudden we're well into August and now I have to get my butt in gear and get myself organized and figure out what I'm doing for a cake and food and all that fun stuff!!! God!!! I am excited but I'm torn and it's stressing me out and I'm feeling somewhat down too so that doesn't help. There's something about being stressed and depressed that don't go well together. Needless to say, it was a very blah kind of day with no motivation or progress or really anything at all. I'm actually surprised that there are real words in this post and the whole thing isn't just 'blah blah blah blah blah'.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day :S

The time has come

Well I am finally getting around to cleaning up this mess I call home. It's so frustrating because most days I am just cleaning up the same spots over and over again. It's always the kitchen/dishes and if I'm lucky the bathroom, but nothing else ever gets touched!! Well today I have abandoned the kitchen and bathroom and focused my attention elsewhere. I can actually see the wood of the computer desk now, something I haven't seen in quite awhile. I don't know how it happens, but clutter and crap find themselves quite at home in my house. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the house is the size of a sardine tin and there are no closets. Rather frustrating if you ask me.
Nonetheless, it feels good to get things cleaned up and tossed out!!!

Kuna Tuna

Well we had to put our beautiful orange tabby Kuna down yesterday. He had been getting thinner for the last little while but we had attributed that to the fact that it was summer time. But over the last week he really wasn't looking all that great and over the weekend he went downhill quite quickly. He has had this obsession with eating plastic bags over the years and when he was 10 months old he actually had surgery (we thought he had a blockage) but it turned out to be a very expensive 'air exchange' instead. We had decided at that point that he had used up the entire vet fund and that all the cats were SOL now because of him. This wasn't really true of course. Perhaps that was why I didn't take him to the vet sooner though and I'm wishing that I had. But we went yesterday and were ready to give it a shot and see if the fluids would help make him feel better before doing any x-rays or any of that kind of thing. You know how vets work, everything is SO expensive. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself though if we didn't at least try. One thing that I was adamant about was getting blood work done. Then that way we could find out if there was any underlying conditions going on. Well sure enough, there was. His kidney's were deteriorating and he was slowly dying. Eventually he would go on his own, but we couldn't let him suffer like that. So we had an amazing cuddle with lots of pets and kisses and my hubby even gave him some goodbye from his feline brother and sister at home with a lick on the head and a bite of his neck - it may seem silly but it pretty much broke my heart right there. It was really hard to say goodbye to him, but it was what needed to be done. I still can't believe he's gone. He was only 3 years old.
So rest in peace Kuna. You were an amazing kitty and you will be forever missed.

Love you
xoxo

Tuesday rant

My husband has a magazine subscription to Men's Health and has been getting it for that past 8 years or so. It's a great magazine and I like reading it too. I even have my own subscription to Woman's Health, although you'd never know it to look at me. Anyways, I'm sure you've noticed that magazines like these have numerous inserts designed for potential future customers and how if you sign up now, you'll receive this free gift or get this amazing deal, you know what I mean??? Well, what I want to know is how come he's been getting this magazine for umpteen million years and has never received anything??? Where is his free gift for being a loyal subscriber??? Why is it that only the new customer's get to take part in these fabulous deals and get the free gifts for signing up?? It's not fair and I call bullshit!!!
I want my free stuff, damn it!!!!

My very own 'unicorns'

One of my favorite things about summer are the deer. Now I know there are a lot of people out there who curse the beautiful beasts for sneaking into their gardens and eating all their flowers or veggies or even pot plants. I lots 75% of my hollyhocks to one myself this year and my poor Mother has had one destroy most of her garden. Despite this rather annoying flaw, I just love deer. To me they are like my unicorns. I cherish them and love them and want nothing more than to get close to them and pet them and love them and love them and love them!!! Silly perhaps, but to me they are amazing. Since being back on the island we've had quite an assortment of deer stroll through our yard (we have our garden fenced in, so they're more than welcome to be in the yard, just not in the garden) and I like to feed them - apples, carrots, lettuce, other treats from the veggie garden, etc. They LOVE apples. This year I have had 3 bucks, a small female, and a mother with two adorable spotted fawns (seeing the fawns is the best, especially twins!!!). Usually it is the bucks who like to come and relax at the end of a hot day.


Well tonight I almost had my dream come true. I didn't get to actually pet the handsome buck, but I called him and he walked right up to me and sniffed the apple in my hand - while I was holding it still!!! It was AWESOME!!!!


Anyways, just wanted to share some pictures of my 'unicorns' with you - Enjoy :)

scared jitter bug

I had one of those scary experiences this morning.
I had plans to go to town today to get the boy weighed and to run around looking for birthday gifts for my nephew and niece so that my mother-in-law could take them with her when she leaves for Alberta tomorrow. Well it turned out I didn't need to go, as my husband was going to go in my place, which was great, but I still needed to get some presents together. So I left the baby at home with my mom and I drove like mad down to the Cove to buy cards and tissue paper and a couple of books. Then I flew like mad on the way home only to pass my husband on the way. So I turned into the next driveway, which happened to be on a VERY dangerous corner, and then backed out as quickly as I could. Well it wasn't quick enough or maybe it was. But just as I was about to put the car into Drive, another car came flying around the corner (as most cars do) and luckily for me he was able to slow down enough not to hit me and I somehow took myself out of 'froze' mode and drove away as quickly as I could. I swear if I hadn't of started driving then he still would have bumped into me. I'm just so lucky that he actually saw me, because if he hadn't - he would have really hit me and it would have been HARD!!!!
I finally made it home, got everything together and was able to sit down and relax. Then it occurred to me - what if I'd had the baby with me?? What if I'd had the baby with me and he'd hit me? The impact would have been at the baby end of the car and even though the car seat is in the middle of the backseat, the end result would not have been good. Probably devastating in fact.
So now I'm just grateful that the baby wasn't with me and that I wasn't hit in the first place. But I'm still left feeling a little jittery about the whole thing. Scary scary scary.

You know what I need?? A vacation!!! I want nothing more than to escape this beautiful little island and go somewhere that nobody knows my name. As much as I love it here, there are some days that I don't want to have to say hello to 20 different people just to go and get the mail. And there are days when I don't feel like putting real clothes on to go to the store, but you just know on those days when you're wearing your ratty pj's and shirt with a hole in it you'll run into someone and while you're standing there talking to them you're feeling like shit for looking like a scrub. Or at least that's how I feel anyways, lol. So as much as I love it here, I wish that there was more anonymity sometimes. Even when I go to the other side of the island for groceries I still see people that I know. But don't get me wrong - it is nice to run into people that you haven't seen for awhile or those that you really enjoy seeing on a day to day or week to week basis. Maybe there could be a hat or a pair of glasses that you could put on for days when you don't want to talk to anyone or don't want anyone to know that it's you...do you think that would work??? Might be kinda nice!!!
But I think realistically, a vacation is probably a more likely option. Especially since I don't think it will go over very well for me to ask everyone else to leave in order for me to have a holiday ;)

Stress is the devil

Stress.

I hate stress.

Stress sucks. But unfortunately, I can't seem to escape the stress these days.

There are a lot of things going on in my world right now and I feel like I'm all in knots all the time and I hate it. I've never had an ulcer before but I feel like I'm going to get one. I'm lucky in the fact that it's not my own drama that I'm caught up in, but I'm not sure if that makes it any easier. What's going on is a MESS, and it's ugly and it feels like we are the only ones that are on the right side. But I guess that's how anything goes right? No matter which side you're on, you're on it because it feels like the 'right' side. It just seems like everyone is missing the point and not really seeing who is truly at fault. But of course, there are always two sides to every story and words and tones and feelings are misconstrued. However, that still doesn't make this any easier or better or make the problems disappear.

I just hope for the sake of everyone involved that things get sorted out sooner rather than later. Damage is being done and on a selfish note, an ulcer is brewing.

This sucks!!!

I hate days like these

I'm having one of those rough days today and I'm really wishing that I had of just stayed in bed.

There is some stuff going on with a family member that isn't so great and he had some legal business in town today and unfortunately it didn't go very well. It could have been worse, but it also could have gone way better. So that hasn't helped things much. Then later this afternoon I was getting things ready for dinner tonight (I'm going to make potato salad) and as I was sitting in the living room, I all of a sudden got this whiff of smoke and went running to the kitchen to find that my potato water had evaporated and my potatoes were now burned to the bottom of the pot. About ten minutes later my son was playing in the living room and fell on his face and started to cry and when he moved his hands away, there was blood everywhere!!! Turns out he jabbed his soother against his tooth that was just about to come through. Well it's through now!!! Poor little guy.

It has just been one of those emotionally draining days. I hate days like these!!!!

I think tomorrow I will stay in bed :P

Through the looking glasses

I think I forgot to mention it, but my little guy got his glasses last week (it only took a week for them to get here instead of over 2) and so far it's been going pretty good. He wears them without any problems about 80% of the time. But then he'll go to rub his eyes or touch his face and remember that he's got these things on and he'll proceed to take them off. Problems tend to arise when he is sitting 'idle', so when he's in his highchair or in the car are the worst. I don't even tend to put them back on when we're in the car after he's taken them off because I can't regulate him and the last thing I want is for him to rip them off and then wreck them by scratching or breaking them. If there was more room in the back seat then one of us would sit back there with him and watch him like a hawk.
Anyways, on the whole it is going well and he looks SO cute with them on!!!!

Fruit Salad??

Apples and Oranges - Painted with Oil

I've been thinking. Usually posts that start like this mean trouble and perhaps this one is headed that way. But I have been thinking about that phrase "thrown under the bus". Do you know that one?? You hear it all over the place and it's rather fitting because someone is screwing you over and pushing you under the bus and that's it, you're f^&#%^#!!!! I hate this. It sucks.

Recently I have been thrown under the bus and as I mentioned, I have been thinking about this and how it all went down has me a little troubled. The problem is that initially, 'Orange' was on the same road I was on - doing (saying) that EXACT same things as I was!!! We'd both joke about things at 'Apple's expense, both agreed that certain things that she was doing were a little strange, you know, things like that. Doesn't make it right, but we were BOTH guilty. (Just want to note that while Orange and I were saying the same things, I went above and beyond and wrote about things that I shouldn't have which is ultimately why Apple and I are no longer friends). But out of nowhere, Orange threw me under the bus and decided to tell Apple everything I was saying. So what I want to know is, why is it that I've been run over and Orange is still riding the bus??? I don't know why I didn't say something earlier to Apple about this, because Orange was also talking smack behind her back. Maybe I thought I was being loyal or something like that. But why am I protecting someone who threw me under the bus???

So Apple if you're reading this, Orange is just as guilty. Just thought you should know.
And Orange, sorry to throw you under the bus.

Gifts

I received a wonderful surprise in the mail on Friday. A very dear friend sent me not only a beautiful anniversary card but a very cool bracelet that I absolutely love!!! I have always wanted something like this and now I have one!!!

The best thing about this bracelet though, aside from the awesome friend that gave it to me, is all the wonderful things it has written around it. These are just the kinds of things I need in my life, words and sayings that will help me focus on the positive and try not to dwell on the negative. Something that is easier said than done at times, but something that I really need to make an effort to strive towards. So this bracelet is just perfect for that. All I have to do is look down and instantly I feel uplifted; stronger; more at peace. It's just the kind of thing I need to slow down and pay attention.

Anyways, I just love it so much I wanted to share it with you. Here is the list of words/sayings along it. I hope at least one, if not more, of them have some positive impact on you.

Plant Peace. Live in unity. FREEDOM. Make a difference. Speak kindness. pave the path. LEAD THE WAY. humanity. give back. seek wisdom. COME TOGETHER. Truth. FORGIVE. believe. faith. SOW LOVE. humanity. Make a difference.

June 25th 2010

Well yesterday was our anniversary and we had such a great day!!! We went over to town and grabbed some lunch and headed to the beach. The plan had been to go to Miracle Beach but on the way there we remembered that a couple hundred children had the potential to be there for 'Beach Day', so we went to Williams beach instead. We ate our lunch and then went and played on the beach.

Here is the little gaffer playing in the water

He loved it!!!! And was splashing around like crazy!!!

He thought the sand was kinda neat, although I don't think he was too impressed with the way it stuck to him and wouldn't just come off, lol.

Father and Son

Some cows with a REALLY nice view!!!!

Happy guy playing on the swings at the park - can you see his chompers???

Riding a seahorse

On the ferry going home after a fun-filled day!!!!