Bullet Biting

I'm biting the bullet and going back to work. I don't want to and would love nothing more than to stay at home with the most amazing little turkey in the world, but the time has come and so I must go back. I had a little bit of a melt down earlier because it felt like it was all happening too fast and by too fast I mean that I called this morning thinking it would be at least a day or two until I heard from anyone and then an hour later I was marking 2 shifts down on the calendar, one of which being only 4 days away!!!! God, what the hell did I do? was all I could think about as I cried and told my son over and over again how much I loved him. It felt like the end of the world and in some ways come D-day, it will be. But it will also be nice to get out of the house and do something that is for me. To be honest though, I don't really think of work as being my first choice of things I would do for myself. I think a movie or going to the spa or out for drinks with friends would be a lot more fun, but at least this will be something that I do sans child that gets me out of the house and off the island and out into the real world.
One great thing is that my first two shifts are orientation shifts, so I don't need to work myself too hard and can let myself ease back into things gradually. AND if there ever comes a day when work calls me to come work and I can't, I have the best excuse to get out of it - sorry, I don't have a sitter :)