I was on the ferry headed over to town the other day and I got to thinking about life. I do love my life and all of the things that I have done, I believe, have lead me to where I am. But I couldn't help but think if we hadn't moved away or if I hadn't have gotten the university degree and had instead just worked or perhaps taken something different - if I had of done any or all of these things differently or just not at all, would I still be here?? I like to think 'no' but that's probably just because it consoles me a little bit and makes me feel better about some of my stupid choices along the way. (I would hate to think that by changing just the smallest thing that it may change the end, like we wouldn't still be together or may not have our son or something like that). But I think what I'm really bothered by is the amount of debt that I (we) have. Student loans, lines of credit, credit cards. It feels endless and some days I truly feel like I am drowning in it. So I was thinking how nice it would have been to just have gotten a job and worked and saved and done things the normal way - buy or lease a car, buy a house, have kids etc. I mean, I didn't need to go to school to get a job. True, the job I do have is one that you need more than just high school for but what if I'd just worked or done something else??? I'm not really complaining about anything other than the debt. I loved moving away. I loved living and working there and then coming back to the island and starting the next chapter of our life here. I just wish we could have avoided some of the excess bullshit here and there. I guess I just find it hard when I look around and I see the 'togetherness' of other people's lives and I can't help but wish that for me and my family. Wouldn't it be nice to have a newer vehicle that I didn't need to worry about, or perhaps our own home, maybe even the ability to go on a trip or vacation *sigh*. One day...
But for now I will just be grateful for what I do have - an amazing husband, an awesome little gaffer, 4 fabulous cats, and wonderful friends and family. What's a little debt when you have all of that other good stuff, right???
Just because someone has a nice car or house doesn't mean they can afford it, generally people with lots of big expensive things have big expensive debts to go wit it!
ReplyDeleteLife is what you make it...it really is! And yes, you need to remember that you have a great family, and not everyone has that!
We all think about the "what ifs", but the truth is, we can't change our past choices so we need to move forward! Good things will come, you just have to believe it!!
xoxoxo
So true!!! It really does seem like so many of us are living beyond our means and just because one has a nice car or house really doesn't mean anything. I think more than anything I really didn't need to go to school for as long as I did and could have made a life for myself that I was just as happy with. But I am very grateful, you just can't help but wonder sometimes... :)
ReplyDeleteListen, Kristi. You really need to stop comparing yourself to me. It will only bring heartache and misery....
ReplyDeleteNo, what Kim said is right. Also, I believe that a debt incurred from going to school is a debt worth having.
You have a great job that will bring you out of your debt... so that you can get into debt again by purchasing lovely new things, like cars and a house! Yippe!! Then you'll be just like all those other sops you speak of.