So I was thinking about friendship last night and about all the types of "friends" that I have. I'm actually really quite lucky to have as many close and good friends that I do, who are caring, loving, trustworthy, etc. Friends that I can truly count on to be there for me when I need them.

I was talking with one of these friends last night about friend[ship] and how when I like someone, or meet a new friend, or even reconnect with an old friend, I put my heart right out there and give - give love, support, gifts, my ears, encouragement, anything and everything that may be needed from me. I don't necessarily need or want anything back except maybe some kindness in return. Like for example, when my little gaffer got his first tooth, I was SO excited and I had a couple of "friends" that I chatted with on a regular basis, who also have babies, so I texted them to tell them. Fine, dandy, whatever. So then when the one "friend's" baby got his first tooth, I had to find out about it on facebook. I was heartbroken and felt like I didn't matter or that I wasn't important enough to know firsthand. It may seem silly or trivial but I'm kinda sensitive that way. I just want to like someone and be liked back and it hurts my feelings when things aren't reciprocated the way I would ideally like them to be. Perhaps this is my problem, maybe I expect too much or am too needy and emotional. But I don't really think it's too much to ask that if you're supposedly friends, that there's a certain amount of caring that should go BOTH ways!!!! Friendship shouldn't be ONE-SIDED!!!! My example really was a little silly, but hearing about her baby's first tooth was important to me and I was excited for him and her about it and was so looking forward to when it happened. And it just kinda crushed me that I didn't get to be one of the people she told about it.

Now I know life doesn't always work out this way. Life is busy, things happen, not everyone can react the way you want them to and they don't always need to. But I like friends who treat me with the same love and kindness that I treat them, friends who show an interest in me and care about me. This doesn't mean that we have to talk every day, week or even every month. It's nice when you do get to talk often, but the circumstance and situation don't always allow for this to happen. But when things change so abruptly, you're left to wonder where you stand and I often wonder if it's me. Perhaps I'm the problem. I've come to think of myself as "an acquired taste", maybe I'm just not the friend for everyone. And that's fine, because I can tell you that there are lots of "friends" out there that aren't for me.

One thing I have come to realize is that friendships doesn't necessarily just 'happen'. They require some effort, similar to a marriage. You can't take one another for granted, there needs to be communication and understanding, trust and honesty.

So I am grateful for all of my true, honest, dependable, and fabulous friends - you know who you are ;)