Green Eyed Monster

So I mentioned in an earlier post about the green eyed monster that lives within me. I'm pretty sure that we all have a green eyed monster and I've actually done away with mine quite a bit. It used to be massive and all consuming. But over the years I have grown up quite a lot and am not quite as insecure as I used to be, so therefore I'm not as jealous about things. However, it's amazing how jealous I still can be, even at the smallest and most ridiculous little things.

Growing up I was always on the heavier side and that definitely played a major part in my being so insecure. I've also had a lot of unreliable people in my life, so it felt like I was always being let down and couldn't count on people or believe them when they'd tell me things or give me compliments. I am so thankful for my husband though, because he is the one person in my life that I can truly count on and he is amazing. But he's another story. So my weight and shady people sent me down the path of insecurity which in turn helped to feed my green eyed monster because I would look around and see other people with the things I wanted or doing things I wished that I had the guts to do or friends with the people I wanted to be friends with. That was hard. It's not fun and I hate it!!! I hate being jealous and insecure. It doesn't feel good and it doesn't get my anywhere except miserable. Anyways, as much as I try, I can't completely shake my green eyed monster. It's like I take 2 steps forward and out of nowhere I'm 5 steps back and it's so stupid!!! And most of the time, I'm jealous about the stupidest stuff.

But I'm working on it. I don't think we're ever entirely happy with ourselves, but I'm definitely a work in progress.