Bullet Biting

I'm biting the bullet and going back to work. I don't want to and would love nothing more than to stay at home with the most amazing little turkey in the world, but the time has come and so I must go back. I had a little bit of a melt down earlier because it felt like it was all happening too fast and by too fast I mean that I called this morning thinking it would be at least a day or two until I heard from anyone and then an hour later I was marking 2 shifts down on the calendar, one of which being only 4 days away!!!! God, what the hell did I do? was all I could think about as I cried and told my son over and over again how much I loved him. It felt like the end of the world and in some ways come D-day, it will be. But it will also be nice to get out of the house and do something that is for me. To be honest though, I don't really think of work as being my first choice of things I would do for myself. I think a movie or going to the spa or out for drinks with friends would be a lot more fun, but at least this will be something that I do sans child that gets me out of the house and off the island and out into the real world.
One great thing is that my first two shifts are orientation shifts, so I don't need to work myself too hard and can let myself ease back into things gradually. AND if there ever comes a day when work calls me to come work and I can't, I have the best excuse to get out of it - sorry, I don't have a sitter :)

Wind Storm Numero Uno

I have been talking about Fall a lot lately and it is definitely official, Fall is here. We had our first wind storm of the season here yesterday and through the night and into today. It wasn't unlike any other wind storm that we've had, although there's something a little unsettling when you're alone and the house is making all sorts of freaky noises due to the wind. So I found myself awake for awhile in the middle of the night - I swear I thought the house was going to cave into itself due to the shear force of the gusts - and I got up to check on the baby before going back to sleep. Just as I was going into his room, the power went out and then came back on with a loud BANG BANG and from the kitchen I could see an orange glowing coming from outside my living room window. To the window I went and outside on the power line along the road was a beautifully frightening little fire. I was already on edge due to the wind and to see a fire that close to my house (to be honest it wasn't really that close, but too close for comfort) was just too much. Ya, it wasn't really all that fun.
I just hope that all of the wind storms this season aren't this eventful. A power-outage is one thing, but fireworks are a completely different story. I don't want to see the orange glow of a fire from my window anytime soon, that's for sure.

Love

I am missing my husband tonight.

He left a week ago to go to work in Ontario and should be gone for another 3 weeks. I manage fairly well when he's gone, but I find the evenings the hardest. That's usually our time together, after the baby has gone to bed, and I just feel so alone with him not here.

I'm sure that the next few weeks will just fly by and he'll be home before I know it, but right now I miss him like crazy.

Can't wait to see you - I miss you.

xoxo

Lost and Found

Well it's official - I have lost my motivation. I've noticed that it has been MIA for a little while now, but I was waiting patiently hoping that it would miraculously return on its own. Guess what?? It hasn't and I'm struggling with that fact that I can't seem to find it.

A few years ago I lost some weight - 40 lbs and I felt great and looked better than I had in years. It was actually quite easy. Part of this was due to the fact that I had everything at my fingertips - a pool and gym near by, a fantastic weight watchers leader/meeting, and some amazing friends to bounce ideas off of and to work out with. I had all the time in the world to work on me. Then I went back to school and slowly the weight began to creep back on again. It was so frustrating.


Now I just can't seem to find the time for me. I know if I really wanted to bad enough (which I do) I could make the time. But without my friend motivation to help me out, I am feeling stuck. Paralyzed even. And it is so hard. I hate the way I look and the way I feel and I feel like my weight stands in my way in so many areas. I was actually talking to a friend on the phone and her and her son were heading out to go to the gym and I felt so jealous of the fact that I wasn't about to head out the door to go to the gym. I wish I had the ability to do that. Yes, there is a gym on the island, and yes I could go and find someone to watch my son or maybe there's even child minding there and I could take him with me. But that just seems like so much effort and financially, just isn't in the cards right now. Maybe the reason I can't find my motivation is because my laziness has taken it hostage. All I know is that I need to get my butt in gear and do something.

But, come to think of it, there is a beautiful little boy sleeping in the other room...and I think he might just be all the motivation I need :)

Apples and Muffins

I was looking at my kitchen counter and did you know that apples and muffins remind me of fall??? There's something so warm and cozy about muffins. It's like they were made for fall days to have with tea or to have in your lunch once you go back to school. And apples. Apples just scream fall and it's pretty much fall once they are ready to pick. These ones were actually picked this morning from my mom's tree and I used to grab one on my way to school when I was younger. *Sigh*. I've already mentioned this, but I just love fall.

Craziness

It feels like I've finally had a moment to catch my breath. The past few days have been a whirlwind of craziness and I am so thankful for this quiet, rainy morning and delicious hot cup of tea (the tea isn't quite ready yet, but when it is, it will be amazing!!!!).
We got the call we'd been waiting for regarding work for my husband, although it came in the usual undesired rushed fashion. So on Wednesday he was asked to come back to work, but he had to leave Thursday to be in Ontario for an orientation on Friday. Craziness. And to top it all off, my Mom's cat was dying and needed to be put down so we had that to help deal with as well. But we managed to get over to town and get the important things that were needed, came home and gave the cat a burial under the blossoming cherry tree, and then came home and packed like crazy because we had to go back over to town that night to be at the airport at the right time the next morning. That's definitely one down side to living on an island and needing to be on a plane at 7am. It all worked out in the end and he arrived safely. But I've just been so busy picking up the pieces since he left.
Our yard is a disaster - correction, WAS a disaster. And after taking him to the airport, I was a little blindsided when I got home and had to ran around like a crazy woman to tidy up and organize the yard and put the house back together after ram sacking it to gather his things together. Then there's the harvesting from the garden which is time sensitive and needs to be done and while none of this is 'major', it just feels like a lot in such a short period of time.
But I'm off to enjoy that nice cup of tea and savor the last few moments before my son gets up.

CC 2010

We finally made it out camping this year!!!! Yay!!! It's about freakin' time!!

Usually my hubby and I go camping for our anniversary at the end of June before school lets out, but didn't' manage to make it this year. So all summer we've been waiting around, hoping and wanting to go, and we even bought a brand new tent for camping with the baby and I was really worried that we weren't going to get a chance to use it this year.

Well hallelujah, we did.

It was off to Cortes we went on Wednesday and stayed for 2 nights. The weather was fairly decent, although the campsite was right in the middle of trees so it never seemed to warm up. But it was a great time and the baby loved it and had so much fun!!! He had sand from head to toe and in every crack and hiding spot on his body. Poor little guy had the worst bum rash from all the sand he got in there while running about naked at the lake. But despite that, he had a great time and was happy and slept great. Can't ask for more, right???

Can't wait for our next camping excursion!!!

Rainy Day

Well it's official, fall is here!!! Or at least it sure feels like fall, especially with the rain we've gotten overnight and today. I'm not complaining though, I love fall. I love days like today when it's raining and a little blustery outside and I'm warm and cozy inside. I would describe days like today as a 'soup day' and that's exactly what I've decided to make today, a nice big pot of chili!! But I find days like today rather peaceful actually. The baby is down for a nap, my husband is out doing some errands and I have the house to myself to just breathe, relax, and re-boot. I think the only thing missing is a nice cup of tea.

Cat Lady

Growing up, there was a cat lady who lived on our little island. She would drive around in her car with at least 10 cats in there with her!!! And when she wasn't in the car and you would run into her in the store or something she ALWAYS smelt like cat piss, and is was SO GROSS!!!! So I have always considered a 'cat lady' to be some kooky loon that runs around the place with a herd of cats and generally she is old or at least on the older side and alone. I think this is the most important factor in what makes a cat lady - the fact that she is alone. Some may consider me to be a 'cat lady', I however think of myself as part of a cat loving family. This is not because I run around like a mad woman with cats in my car, nor do I stink (at least I hope I don't), but because I have a lot of cats.

Before Kuna died, I had wanted one of my friends kittens because I knew how much Kuna would have loved to have another younger playmate. Our other 2 cats were slightly older than he was, and while the one was usually up for playing, this wasn't always the case. So I thought a new friend for him would be just the thing. But then he got sick and we had to put him down. I don't think I was really ready for a new cat, but I still had my hopes set on getting this kitten. I teased and joked about getting 2 based on the idea that kittens do better in two's, especially when having 2 older cats like we do. Then that way the new kittens would always have someone to play with. So when the kittens got here, I was so excited to see 'my kitten' (who has always been my kitten from the very beginning) and play with all the other kittens while they were here (my friend brought all of them with her and they stayed at my place while she was on the island visiting). Well wouldn't you know it, the one that I wasn't planning on keeping picked us and Bosley also picked her out as well (I think he thought she was Kuna at first) and both my husband and I were still smitten with the other one, so we HAD to keep both of them.

Anyways, we now have 2 new kittens - Olive and Whiskey. And if having 4 cats makes me a cat lady, then I guess that's what I am.

Olive (top) and Whiskey

But just a thought for you...why is it such a negative thing to have numerous cats, but yet it's ok to have multiple dogs?? You don't hear people going around whispering and gossiping about the 'dog lady' :S