Do I really have to??

Another day has come and gone and it's hard to believe that it's already April 19th. I mean, how did that happen?? Time is just flying by and I really don't want it to. You see, soon my maternity leave will be over and I will have to go back to work and I SO don't want to go back!! I love being at home with my baby, he is amazing and so much fun!! And it just doesn't seem right that I should have to go back. What would be fabulous is if the government would invest money in stay at home moms to raise their own children and do a great job instead of entrusting them to strangers to raise them. Then that way the parents, mainly moms, could be sure that the kids were brought up properly. And of course this only applies to those "good" parents, lol, because I'm sure there are a lot of kids out there that would be better off having the "strangers" bring them up than their own parents. But if moms that wanted to stay at home could with no financial worries, that would be so wonderful. It seems like we're always after what we can't have, the whole 'grass is greener on the other side' thing, but it's true. Back in the day, women wanted to be able to go to work and not be stuck in the home and now our society has changed so that most households rely on dual incomes which means that most women HAVE to go back to work. Such a pain in the ass!! So basically, we wanted to work and now it's turned around and we're bitching because we have to go to work - funny how things work out.

So ya, I just don't want to go back. I'm a nurse at the hospital and while I enjoy my job, after having my son, I don't really care to go and spend all day looking after other people when I can be at home looking after him. Wait, I take that back. It's not that I don't care about other people and helping them, I just want to be the one raising my son and not having to rely on other people to do it and if that means choosing between him and patients, well of course I'm going to choose him!!! But my job is pretty cool and I do get a lot of fullfilment from it and I'm sure everything will work out once I do go back, I'm just dreading it. And the other night I was reading something that said I should start planning for my return to work and it just put me in anxious panic mode. Thinking about it now is making me feel a little sick so I'm going to stop.

So for now I'm just going to enjoy my time with him and try not to think too much about having to back.